because of my insomnia.

so my mom gave me one of her candles & now my room smells like french vanilla,mmm. these pictures were taken circa 1 am, because I was super bored and I couldn't sleep.
oh & my new favorite tv show is psych <3


bittersweet reality.

I just watched the notebook, and that movie always bring me to tears. it was such a touching love story, but it's sad to know that there's millions of people in the world that have alzheimers disease. my biggest fear is in fact, the dreadful possibility of having alzheimers disease. I would never ever want to forget all my favorites memories spent with my loved ones; it's truly devastating to even ponder about. i can't imagine how heartbreaking it is for someone who personally knows someone that has alzheimers. while writing this, I realized that including myself and others who don't have disablities,were the lucky ones. I'm grateful that i can still function & think properly. it's one of my many reasons to live my life to the fullest.

p.s. may god bless the people with alzheimers disease, also the family and friends effected by it. x


lack of inspiration and motivation.

currently: i desperately need a cigarette & want to get out of my house.
someone take me to party?please.


odd christmas,

I've realized when it's the holidays everyone becomes so nice & a lot happier. it's probably because of the christmas songs, I bet they secretly hypnotize their listeners to become all jolly & giving,ha.
I have many favorite holiday memories but I have one I particularly disliked. if you guys would like to know & have the time to read my story...then keep reading :]
so this happened a few years ago when I lived in california, I was probably 10 or 11. every year for christmas my family and I always went to our relatives house. ofcourse it was like a big re-union, basically a typical filipino gathering. all the older relatives who drank or smoked were always outside in the backyard. inside the house, the aunties would be gossiping and the other children (including myself) would try finding something fun to do. the older cousins would be upstairs in one of the rooms, they were usually chatting or on the computer. usually, whenever I'm at a family party, I would always meet a random relative that I don't ever recall meeting. they would hug me until it was awkward & they would ramble about how much I've grown. at one point, I got really bored because half of the guests left. at first, I didn't know what to do so I ate a plate of spaghetti. when I finished eating, I decided to go outside to talk to my grandpa. my grandpa was drinking a beer and playing a type of card game with the other relatives. I remember I asked him what beer tasted like & he let me try it, but when I took a sip, I almost gagged and spit it out. my grandpa and my uncles laughed at me -_- anyway, after awhile, I got bored again so I walked back into the house. as I walked into the living room,I was immediately captivated by a filipino movie playing on the tv screen. (and yes, I understand the language) I asked my mom what they were watching and she replied "it's bad for you, don't watch this movie". I stayed, even though I was repeatedly told not to watch it. basically the plot of the movie was that this women had been getting raped for 3 years by 3 different guys. once her husband found out, he killed the 3 guys and became possessed by their "evil spirit". one of the scenes that freaked me out was when the local priest tried to do some sort of exorcist on the guy, but failed. before the priest left, he told the wife to leave because he could potentially hurt her, or kill her. so during one night when her husband was sleeping, she decided to try and escape. as she was opening the car door...a hand suddenly appeared from under the car and grabbed her ankle. she started to scream and kick the hand and once she got out of it's grasp,she got in the car and frantically locked the car doors. as she's trying to start the car...she looks up at the windshield and her possessed physco husband is staring at her. i left after that scene though because it scared the shit out of me. then I decided to go upstairs to see what the older cousins were doing and as I was entering the room, the teenagers were watching a movie,they told me it was a horror movie called the grudge.I decided to stay just to see how "scary" it was. I wasn't there for long though because the only scene I saw was when someone was walking up the stairs and there was a pale girl standing outside the window...then when I saw that lil' boy, I ran out of the room and went back downstairs. then I found my younger cousins in another room playing a video game in the dark, they were playing a japanese game about ghosts!in this video game you would just pointlessly walk into "abandoned" houses and ghosts would unexpectedly pop up on the screen telling you a tragic/weird story. I was like wtf,is this the day to "lets scare the crap out of nicole day" well even though that video game doesn't seem completely horrifying...I had enough of dealing with creepy things that happened that night.

wasn't that a great story?lol.

If you want to tell me a memory you liked or disliked during the holidays, please leave it in a comment or send it to my email: nguzman2@tmail.com


you give me a warm sensation.

I just got home from christmas shopping with my family and I'm exhausted. my parents got me guitar hero,they tried hiding it from me,but it's not so easy hiding such a big box. I did give them a few cool points for trying,hahh. oh & my mom finally ordered my paramore t-shirt,it took more than a year of convincing, but all the nagging paid off >:D todays weather was cold & verrry windy,with lots of sunshine though. when it's ferociously windy I feel anxious because I'm so tiny, a strong gust of wind could make me fly all the way to china. I swear, the wind is always teasing me, messing up my hurrr & pushing me around. one day during pe class, I seriously thought I was going to fly across the football field,lol. (that would make a great youtube video)
anyway, it's pleasant having a reason to get cozy in my bed and wrap myself in 2 blankets & a comforter. ha,I know using 2 blankets and a comforter doesn't sound necessary for 60 degree weather because I should be used to cold weather since I've experienced 20-30 degree weather...but the feeling of warmth is comforting when your toes are as cold as ice cubes :P


feelin' apple pie happy.

(I found these in my garage.)

I'm not too sure, but I think my mom wants to visit her friend who lives 6+ hours away for christmas, I hope we don't go, I don't get along with her daughter & if we do go, my winter break would be extremely b-o-r-i-n-g :/
anyway, I was listening to lucy in the sky with diamonds by the beatles and in the song it mentioned: "where rocking horse people eat marshmallow pies" eucck,marshmallow pies sound extremely repulsive,hah.
if I were ever terribly sick and I had to describe how sick I felt...I would be like, "I'm feeling marshmallow pie sick."


orange, is a lonely word.

i discovered a new amazing band: MGMT
i just finished watching the finale for season 2 of Skins.
i can't wait 'till season 3 to come out :D
winter break has started, i still have yet to do something exciting,hopefully sometime soon i'll go out.
for now i'm going to sleep in as much as i can.
oh & just in case you guys weren't aware, there's 5 more days until christmas.


your eyes are the size of the moon.

i dont have anything really exciting or entertaining to write about since this week i've just been studying late at night for midterm exams. i have a few more exams to take tomorrow and friday, and then it's winter break.
it's weird to think that i won't be seeing some friends until, next year.
at least my days seem shorter and everything is going by real fast. it's good though, cause i can't wait to get outta here.

oh, and it's really annoying when someone constantly asks the same question after i've already answered.
for example:
annoying person: "are you okay?"
me: "yep."
annoying person: "no seriously, are you okay?"
me: "yeaaaaah."
annoying person: "are you sure you're okay...you look sad."
me:" no,i'm fine,thanks."


all you need is love.

today was okay, it rained cats & dogs during lunch though.
oh & supposedly they found "caylee anthony" when it stopped raining, and then the sky turned less gloomy.
i swear it's fate,ha.
well i'm off to finish all my projects that's due tomorrow.
note to self: i need to stop procrastinating.


remember when i was strange and likable?

what's up bloggers,it's been awhile...well i just thought i'd let you guys know i got my top braces off, it's temporary though,their putting new top braces sometime next year. oh & now i have bottom braces.
overall my day was gooooood, and getting my top braces off was like the cherry on top.
the disadvantage is, i can't really talk properly because they added this thing on the top roof of my mouth and i sound retarded,heh.


whisper words of wisdom.

nothing exciting happened today, except in 6th period, it's always fun in that class, but other than that, today was boring, a typical monday. this might seem irrelevant, but 2 months ago, it was my mom's birthday, and her favorite sanrio character is keroppi, so i decided to make her a keroppi in ceramics. it took 2 months for my teacher to finally fire it in the kiln, honestly, idk why it took so long -_- anyway, before thanksgiving break, i found my keroppi on the table of fired projects and when i saw my keroppi, it didn't turn out as i wanted it to... (picture below)

AND obviously it's missing an eye, now i have to wait for my teacher to find the eye, which isn't likely, but i'm really tired of waiting, and idk when i'll finish this.
oh & i realized it's arms are huge,compared to it's tiny body :P tehehe.